


Save It For Later

by Westgate (Harkpad)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Barton Family Fic, Daddyhawk, Deaf Clint Barton, Family Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 03:45:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4248108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harkpad/pseuds/Westgate





	Save It For Later

Clint sent Cooper four postcards while he was gone on the three-week long mission that forced him to miss his son’s tenth birthday. Now they’re lying in pieces on the wood slats of the boy’s bedroom floor.

“Cooper?” he calls, and limps further into the bedroom. There’s no answer. “Coop, I know you’re here somewhere, come on.” There’s still no answer, and then something catches Clint’s eye. Cooper’s bedroom window is open, and his shoes and socks are on the floor in front of it. Clint sighs. He moves to the window and sticks his head out. He cranes his neck and sees two bare feet swinging from the roof.

Cooper is Clint’s son through-and-through. He likes high places.

Ducking back into the bedroom, he pulls his own shoes and socks off and sets them next to Cooper’s. The climb is going to be obnoxious with his sore ankle, but Clint can care less. He climbs out the window and pulls himself up to the roof. Since it’s a gabled roof, he has to grit his teeth and crab crawl a little to get to the top. Cooper is sitting there in his torn jeans and faded Iron Man t-shirt that’s starting to fit a little tight around his bony shoulders.

Clint sits down next to him and tries to ignore how he scoots away a little. Clint stays quiet and lets the silence stretch as they sit on the roof and stare out at their barn and the field behind it.

It’s an early September day and the breeze is soft and cool against Clint’s face. The sun shines brightly and the red of the barn is stark against the pale yellow cornstalks of the field. Clint loves this view more than any other around the farm, which is why he’d helped Cooper follow him one day a year ago and showed him the safest route up to the top. He’d also spent two weeks showing him how to fall from the height of the gutters, just in case.

“You missed my birthday,” Cooper finally says, faintly enough that the breeze almost carried the words away from Clint’s hearing aids.

Clint isn’t sure what Cooper needs here – they’d talked before he left about how Clint might miss it – so he stays quiet.

Cooper finally looks at Clint with a frown and signs this time, “You missed my birthday.”

Clint nods. “And I’m sorry,” he signs and says. “We talked about this, though, kid. We talked about doing something together, special, when I got home if I had to miss it.”

Cooper looks away for a moment and then glares at Clint. “I just – I just hate how you’re gone so much,” he signs, and his signs are quick, a little sloppy, but Clint picks them up.

He scoots closer to Cooper, who watches him carefully. He leans against his son’s shoulder and says and signs, “Me too. I hope you know that. I come home,” he says, and stops.

None of this is easy. None of this is what he wanted in terms of being the father he wanted to be, but it’s like he has two parts of him that are completely separate, and they fight with each other constantly. They wrestle, and the part of him in love with his job pulls him away thinking it’s winning, but he always comes back here, to his family, to his center.

“I come home,” he continues, “And you guys are doing your thing and Mom has everything under control and it’s like maybe you guys don’t need me.”

At that, Cooper sucks in a sharp breath and leans his head against Clint’s shoulder.

Clint smiles. “I know you do,” he added. “I know you need me and I’m glad your world spins smoothly while I’m gone. But sometimes my job needs me more, you know?”

“I needed you on my birthday. It’s supposed to be all of us,” Cooper signs.

“I know. I’m sorry. But you know,” he signs back, and then wraps Cooper in a quick hug. “You guys are tough as hell, you and Mom and Lila. And you’re tough enough that I know I can go do my job and come back and be your dad.” He pauses. “If you’ll let me.”

After a moment, Cooper nods. “I guess it’s okay,” he signs, more slowly this time.

Clint pushes away a little so he can catch Cooper’s eye. His son has Laura’s brown eyes, big and always curious. Sometimes Clint feels like he could get lost in their eyes, and it makes him feel safe and grounded.

“It’s not okay,” Clint signs. He repeats it out loud. “It’s not okay. But it’s how our world works, and how I work. But I love you, and I’ll do my best when I’m around to make things good, okay?”

Cooper nods, and Clint presses a kiss to the top of his head. The sun warms their faces and they sit and watch as some squirrels chase each other around the big oak tree next to the barn. After a moment, Cooper signs, “Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s the special thing we’re going to do since you weren’t around for my birthday?” He signs and says this time.

Clint can hear him trying not to be too curious, too excited, but Clint has a history of good ideas in this area, so the nonchalance Cooper’s looking for doesn’t quite show up.

“I might have gotten us tickets to a Yankees game tomorrow night,” Clint says in a slow drawl, and Cooper breaks into a wide grin. “Aaand seats right behind the dugout,” he adds.

“Really?” Cooper says in astonishment.

“Really. And I _might’ve_ gotten us some locker room tour passes for before the game,” he adds, and Cooper whoops and raises his arms. He loses his balance a little with that, and starts to slip. Clint pulls him back up and tight against his side. “Careful there, kiddo,” he says.

Cooper stays pressed to Clint and wraps his arms around his father’s waist, clinging for a moment longer than usual. Clint soaks it up, putting the feeling into the place he keeps for when he’s away and needs to remember these small hugs and moments. Hugs like this help him get through the missions and back to his family, who needs him most.

 

 


End file.
